Blithering Knitiot

Monday, August 14, 2006

A note from Ann...

Ann said:
You know..if you aren't going to talk about knitting...then you really need to start wrtiting bodice ripper short stories for your blog. I'm just sayin' you need to keep us interested, coming back for more.


I'm sorry. I know I haven't been knitting, and this was intended to be a knitting blog. And yeah, not pressured or stressed about anything at the moment, and yeah, school will start in a few weeks and all hell will break loose, and yeah, I won't have lots of time to sit around and eat bon-bons, and yeah, I know I have a pair of mittens to make for Bitchin' Mittens, and yeah, I know you come here to read about what I'm working on, which at the moment, is nothing.

SO, to keep YOU interested and coming back to read my blog (and YOU know who YOU are), I'm going to follow YOUR advice! I'm giving you a "Bodice Ripper" kit. Now, I'm not much of a writer of smut, although I do have quite a "colorful" vocabulary, and have been know to make truck drivers blush, or at least speechless. Here's what YOU do:

Take any of the following words, in any conjugation, in any order, and put them in sentences, and Voila! Bodice Ripper! (I'm not putting them in any order - that would be too easy for YOU, and I want YOU to have FUN!)

YOUR words:

heaving, wet, moist, torso, thigh, breast, lick, kiss, touch, grope, taste, bite, hair, mound, manhood, nape, bicept, sweat, bulge, crevice, pound, delight, thrust, moan, wimper, cry, scream, knees, give, take, groan, smile, eat, engulf, envelop, finger, leg, arm, pubis, ram, torture, tie, gauntlet, cod piece, stuffing, ooze, throbbing, spread, sit, force, man handle, pinch, twist, nipple, tug, pull, stroke, shoot, facial, eye, nose, gag, forest, pecs, shoulders, waste, buttocks, kneel, prone, nibble, ear, honey, wine, cherry, chocolate, nonpariels, swine, sword, sheath, handle, water, slide, grunt, declaration, eye patch, dun, wooden leg, spire, parrot, whistle, hand, pressure, goat, thief, pirate, page, widow, virgin, slut, whore, bastard, horse, mule, spigot, hose, dumpster, bed, table, tree, staircase, ship, bank vault, carriage, saddle, Woody Allen, grease, poker, ash can, water closet, broom handle, bodice, corset, bloomers, stockings, wart, knuckle, Lizzie Borden, hatchet, mutton broth, pears, corn cob, Crisco, rolling pin, apron, French Maid, fish-net stockings, stiletto heels, satin, silk, flow, drip, and crank shaft.

There. Feel free to add words of your own (I'm sure I must have missed several), and remember, have fun. Especially YOU



Oh, and while YOU'RE writing YOUR Bodice Ripper, have a cookie. They're tasty.


BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA......... *sigh*
I love my knitting friends...... I Love You, Ann!!!

17 Comments:

Anonymous Dave Daniels said...

OMG! Are you trying to build up your Goole search hits or what? You're gonna be spammed from slutty bodice-ripping whores for sure, dude. Complete with cornholing and EVERYTHING!

8:02 PM  
Blogger Ann said...

Throw down the gauntlet, expect it to be picked up my evil twin...

Heh Heh Heh

9:18 PM  
Blogger Sachi said...

I just knew there was a reason why I kept coming back here.

BTW, those cookies really need some frosting.... Pinkish, I think.

9:20 PM  
Blogger Paul said...

The cookies were decorated by guests at a party I had last Decenber. We laugheed like idiots, and I gave prizes. The woman who got first prize got hers to stand up very erect...

hehehehe

9:24 PM  
Blogger ~drew emborsky~ said...

Those are funny looking dog bones.

10:05 PM  
Blogger Sprite said...

LMAO!!! The famous *P* Cookies... yayyyyyy! They look.... very tastey! Ohhhh, you should bodice rip more often! *love you, hon*

11:43 PM  
Blogger Sara said...

Ilaughed my ass off - and I really needed that after yesterday's physical therapy hurt!

9:20 AM  
Blogger Diana said...

Now we're talking!

9:29 AM  
Blogger Karen said...

Lol...love the cookies. Where did you find a cookie cutout like that? hahaha

9:42 AM  
Blogger Devorah said...

I think they need to be decorated with a very fine icing tip using thin curly lines of chocolate -- at least at the base ... ***blush**

10:47 AM  
Blogger kitkatknit said...

Those are some mighty big cookies you have there! Freeform or cookie cutter? My eyes of course went right to the cookies so I passed up all the bodice ripper words. Never have gotten into that genre anyway.

10:51 AM  
Blogger KnittyOtter said...

Holy Shit, Paul!! *L*

Nice Cookies and Words. o.0

Ann is inspiring isn't she. ;^)

12:04 PM  
Blogger craftycat said...

Hmm sounds like my weekend ;-x hehehe

I love those cookies. This was an awesome post Paul!

3:18 PM  
Blogger April said...

wow, pacifiers for prostitutes on a plate. that's very cool.

7:06 PM  
Blogger Paul said...

OMG! April, that's the BEST comment! Hehehehehe.....

10:42 AM  
Blogger kitkatknit said...

p.s. Did you notice that you won sock yarn over at my place?

4:26 PM  
Blogger Matt said...

Wow...your penis cookies look delicious. and filling....

1:42 PM  

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